Vocation Awareness
Modesty – Could something as simple as modesty help us in finding and growing in our true vocation? How should we present ourselves publicly? What types of clothes are appropriate for Mass? On one extreme, is it okay to wear a t-shirt, shorts and flip flops to church? On the other extreme is it okay to be overdressed for church such that it attracts others? In determining the appropriate apparel for Sunday Mass and for all other occasions the virtue of modesty will help. Let’s take a look.
To begin with, modesty is the virtue governing the outward expressions of inward humility and purity, an important virtue which falls under the virtue of temperance, a moderation in the indulgence of appetites or passions. Public modesty, dignity, and self esteem often go hand in hand. We say a lot about ourselves, our self esteem, and what we are looking for or what we are not looking for by how we dress in public. Do we seek glory from others by what we wear so as to invoke awe, jealousy or even lust? Our modesty at church should set the example and govern our modesty in every other public occasion. While clothing and appropriate attire seem small relative to our faith they do indicate the state of our mind in regard to God, self esteem, prudence, modesty, chastity, purity, and worldly influence. When we come to church we are there to worship the Lord in community, as one family in Christ. So, we should be asking ourselves, especially as we approach the summer months, what should I wear that glorifies God and sustains me in dignity and chastity of heart in the community. When we seek the approval of God rather than others, we will find that we will win the approval of others because we have first obtained the approval of God. In this way we are truly evangelizing through our faith, drawing others to salvation in Christ, as they recognize the chastity of our mind, the purity of our heart, and our good deeds as they join us to glorify God as well.
Thus, our overall dress at Church should not be an attraction nor a distraction for others, but a sign of dignity and appreciation as we worship God as a family in our holy place of public worship, our beloved church.
Both men and women ought to dress appropriately for Sunday Mass. On the men’s side, they can cause a distraction to the worshipping of God by arriving at Mass ungroomed, looking like they just woke up, like an unmade bed, wearing what resembles an undershirt rather than a nice collared shirt, wearing pants or shirts that are too tight for the purpose of attraction, or over grooming with the intent to attract others. Tattoos should be covered (Lev 19:28 – do not tattoo yourself), cologne should be at a minimum (like a deodorant rather than to attract others who come close by), and jewelry should be the exception and not a norm. We don’t go to Mass to be making a macho statement nor a statement of rebellion either, but to worship our Lord in community.
On the side of women I’ve already seen this year single women dressed in Church in what resembles more of a towel than a dress, in fact a towel would have covered more body parts. I’ve seen married women wearing what appears more like a night gown for one’s husband rather than a public dress that displays honor to their body and to their husband. What is proper dress? What is visible or exposed? Legs above the knees? A see through silhouette? A tight outfit that accentuates curves for attraction to one’s self? Still, the most notorious and notable among women is the exposure of shoulders, back, and cleavage. As a priest I find this offensive. I am trying to live in a state of purity of mind, body and heart and of all places we should set an example of proper attire for Mass! Full coverage is full coverage and partial coverage is never enough... just ask any insurance agency about the difference betwenn the two and they'll have plenty to say. lol. Enough said before delving into Sacred Scripture to reacquaint ourselves with the need of modesty.
St. Paul writing to Timothy states, “Women should adorn themselves with proper conduct, with modesty and self control, not with braided hairstyles and gold ornaments, or pearls, or expensive clothes, but rather, as befits women who profess reverence for God with good deeds.” (1 Tim 2:9) and St. Peter says to wives, “Your adornment should not be an exterior one; braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition.”
St. Peter lets single women know that their adornment too “should not be an exterior one”, lest they attract men for the wrong reason which will be a cause of deep sorrow, suffering, and pain as these types of relationships cause women to have an inferior relationship with men which will strip away dignity and self esteem. On the other hand, modesty builds women up in many other virtues, self esteem and dignity which gives women a true sense of equality with the opposite sex as they are to be valued and treasured for who they are rather than a toy to be used, played, dropped, broken and then disposed. When we play the game of living through attractions we are actually living in the flesh rather than the spirit which is a choice made to live in the world, abandoning the gift of living in the spirit as children of God, saved and redeemed in Jesus Christ. In this case we are not building up the kingdom of God, we are tearing it down and falling into one of the many traps of the devil.
Single women, finding the right one for marriage will come in your involvement in church activities and growing in holiness before God through family and community, and not by ulterior motives of luring a man by a scanty dress, doing as we please, or by cutting ourselves off from God who teaches us how to love and to be loved because He is love itself.
Similarly, a married women’s public dress should not be to attract men, for she is already married and has her man, lest she sin by attracting other men by her dress rather than attracting others to Christ through her “imperishable beauty” of living out her vocation in mind, body, and spirit.
And mothers, where are you when your daughter is picking out her bride
dress, or the dress for the bridesmaids? Sadly, it is not infrequent
that the mothers of the wedding party dress more immodest than the
bride! Remember women, you have the power to set was is fashionable,
acceptable and unacceptable. Believe me, the fashion industry will go
to where the money is, and if they see enough brides purchasing more
modest dresses they will be offering more options for those who have
drawn the line to sustain dignity and purity before God and man. And yes, I went on-line and found several local bridal shops that include wedding and bridesmaid dresses that cover the word modesty.
Instead of competing with one another women of the church should set the example of embracing younger women to help them sense and know that they are welcomed and treasured in the community and to help them grow in the areas of grace and security, modesty and purity.
Thus, growing in modesty can and will help us to grow in our true vocation as our hearts are set right before God. In this way all of us will find life less burdensome because God calls us to cooperation not competition, the building up of the individual and family in the Spirit of Christ. I believe this is a major reason I enjoy the religious life and find it attractive because sisters and brothers, priests and bishops enjoy living and being spiritually connected with people through Christ as opposed to being embattled in the attractions and desires of the body. In conclusion, please dress appropriately and modesty for Mass as befits the dignity and purity God gave you.
